It's been a couple of months since I have written about the happenings of being a mama. This post might also need to be titled "Ignorance is Bliss". Let me start by saying, I fully believe that we go through lots of seasons as mama's. Well, at 14 months old can I just say we are in such a joyful season?
Friends, I love everything about being a mom. From the time I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to have babies and stay home with them. I was prepared for changing diapers, smelling like spit up, doing lots of baby talk, and taking care of our home. When Evelyn arrived, as with most people when they have their first baby, your world is a little rocked. Sure...you have a pretty good idea about what life will look like, but really.....you don't have a clue until you are thrown into being a mom. I have tried to enjoy every stage that we have experienced so far. The first year was challenging with a lack of sleep, nursing all the time, figuring out schedules, and just learning this new role. Still, even on hard days....there is nothing like it. I know many would agree.
I was telling Brett the other day that although I knew it could change at any point.....I felt like I was in such a sweet spot with being a mom. I seriously love everything about my days with Evelyn. I know many veteran mama's or mama's with lots of kiddos are probably laughing and thinking I just don't understand. Maybe not...but I truly enjoy spending my days with this little girl. I love watching her grow. I love taking care of her. I love watching her learn new things. I don't live for nap time. I just quite simply feel like the days are so much fun!
Trust me....I know there will continue to be hard days. I know that the "terrible twos" or "threenager" years will hit, and already I see some sass the size of Texas in my sweet baby. Oh, and she can give a "mean mug" like nobody's business! :) But....she is the sweetest thing most of the time!
I also know that God has give me this great joy...this great privilege of being Evelyn's mama. It is the sweetest gift. She is the sweetest gift. I come out of her room so many nights after rocking her in tears. My poor husband. :) But, I can't help it. She is such a treasure. I love her so much. I am so grateful that the Lord is so sweet to provide for our family so that I can stay home with her each day. I am thankful that my husband has the desire for me to be home with her as well. I am thankful for my little business that is flexible and allows me to fulfill my first dream and role of being a mama. Evelyn is such a picture of Psalm 66:20 which says,
"Praise be to God, who has not rejected my prayer or withheld his love from me!"
This baby was longed for, for what seems like forever. In God's timing, He graciously gave me the gift of Evelyn. As I am writing, I can't help but cry, for so many reasons.....Mainly, God's goodness. His faithfulness. His provision. The waiting was hard, but who knows what God was keeping me from....I certainly know I learned a lot in the waiting. I have to preach these things to myself when I struggle with waiting even now. It is sometimes a daily battle.
Yesterday I was reading in Psalm 92, and there is so much goodness and truth in these words.
"It is good to praise the Lord, and make music to your name, O Most High, proclaiming your own love in the morning and your faithfulness at night, to the music of the ten-stringed lyre and the melody of the harp. For you make me glad by your deeds, Lord; I sing for joy at what your hand have done. How great are your works, Lord, how profound are your thoughts!" (verses 1-5)
So, I write this....not because I think Evelyn is perfect....(Gracious no!) But, to go back and read when we enter another hard season....another hard day. I know they will come. But, motherhood is such a precious gift, and one I don't want to waste. I am in a sweet season with the Lord as well right now, and He has been gracious to remind me of the good gifts in my life. I am SO UNDESERVING, but incredibly grateful. If you are in a blissful season....enjoy. If you are walking an exhausting road...remember, the hard roads are usually pretty short and go by quicker than I could have imagined. :)
