Thoughts on Motherhood (Volume 13)

Eight weeks of being a mom to two. There has been so much that I have learned. There have been meltdowns. There have been moments of pride...because when you get two kids down for a nap at the same time for multiple days in a row there is bound to be some pride and rejoicing. Haha! :) Then...there have been days where that pride has been shot straight back down with crying and only wanting to be held. Ultimately, the days are getting easier and we are getting into somewhat of a rhythm. No, nothing with my 8 week old is predictable quite yet, but overall we are figuring it out. Somedays we do things really well and mama has a good attitude...somedays I could probably melt down worse than my 2 year old. 

It is interesting doing the whole mama to a newborn thing for a second time. I remember or have recalled a lot...but of course the Lord allows you to forget about some of the hard stuff. Because I have done this before, it is easier for me to remember to let things go. My biggest lesson with Evelyn was that it is all a season. Every sleepless night is a season. Every fussy day where he only wants to be held is a season. Every witching hour is a season. One day he will sleep through the night (although he is a pretty great sleeper so far....knock on wood). One day he will play on the floor longer than 10-15 minutes. One day he won't need to nurse every 2 hours. One day my two year old won't melt for no apparent reason. One day she won't need me to sit with her and make her eat her food or cut up her food (while the baby cries). One day she will learn the meaning of "gentle". Yes, it is hard. The days are truly so long, but these 8 weeks have already passed so quickly. I am tired. But, I have had so many precious women who have modeled and continue to model motherhood for me. (Mom, Linds, Amy, and so many sweet friends)

I have prayed a lot in the last eight weeks. I can't say that my daughter's salvation hasn't been one of the top requests :) Just kidding....kind of. Yes, being a big sister has been so precious to watch. She LOVES her little brother, but she is certainly still navigating the waters of this new role and being 2. Again... a season. She has had some hard days and in turn mama has as well. I have prayed for grace and patience and for the Lord to give me WISDOM. Let's be honest...somedays I just don't know what to do. But, He is good. He is always good. He is always faithful even when I am unfaithful. He always meets me right where I am. When time with Him does not always look "quiet" or how I would prefer it to look, He is good to help me and come alongside me. 

I would say that the word that sums up the last 8 weeks would be challenging. Honestly, this season has been hard, but also one of the sweetest. God, in His GREAT mercy and great faithfulness has given us another little life to care for. I have gotten to see smiles for the first time again. Hear those sweet baby noises again. Nurse this little guy and watch him grow. I have had the privilege of watching him sleep, snuggling him, learning what he likes and dislikes, and just getting to be his mama. I pray that I never take it for granted. I have told my husband so many times that even on the hard days.......I am truly living my dream. I have always wanted to be a mama and stay home with my babies. I wouldn't dream of sugar coating it or making it seem like I have it all together or that it is easy. Come over and you will see. I am learning. I am young. I make and will continue to make plenty of mistakes. But, this is truly a dream come true. 

While challenging would describe the last several weeks......thankful would as well. I am so grateful for my husband who has come alongside this hormonal wife of his and been such a helper to me. I am thankful for sweet family and friends who have prayed for and checked on us. I am thankful for my sweet little Evelyn who challenges and teaches her mama so much each day. I am thankful for the precious heart that she has and how I see tiny little seeds being planted in her. I am thankful for baby boy who has brought so much joy to my heart. I am so grateful that he is sleeping and eating well. (No not through the night....haha). I am thankful for his sweet smiles that he gives. I am grateful to God for giving us these precious blessings. I have been overwhelmed at how good God is to give us two growing, healthy babies. We don't deserve it. 

I know that I will continue to have good and bad days. There will be days of feeling like I can handle this and days where I feel like I have failed. I serve a faithful God who has given me this job. I pray that I do it for His glory and as I serve my family, remember that I am serving Christ. 

Thoughts on Motherhood Volume 12 (Life with Two)

Whew....almost two weeks into life with two babies and it seems like the quickest and longest two weeks. I haven't done one of these posts in almost a year, but I want to document this time. Life with two is.......beautiful.....exhausting.....challenging.......fun.......all the emotions rolled into one. I was always so excited for this long awaited gift of having two babies. I could not wait to watch my sweet little Evelyn become a big sister! I couldn't wait to snuggle a newborn again!

With Evelyn, I felt like I soaked up every second. Every cry, smile, sleepless night, etc....it was all soaked up. This precious little boy has come into our family, and already I can feel that mom guilt of it all moving so quickly. I am trying so hard to soak every bit of his newness. I am trying to balance playing with my girl plus all the needs that my Joel has that only I can fulfill. Hard. So so hard. It has come with its challenges. Newborns like to be held a lot.....two year olds like the attention that they had become familiar with before they had a little brother so tantrums happen. Life with two has also been so precious!  Seeing Evelyn love on her "Baby Jo Jo" and watching this little love grow and change so quickly has been a great privilege. 

I have found that God has given so much grace for each moment. I'll be honest, last night Evelyn had a major meltdown. It was my first night to be home by myself to do dinner, bath, etc. But, I found that in the moment God showed me that this was going to be so fleeting. That was my biggest lesson through every stage of watching Evelyn grow. It is all a season. They feel long when you walk through them, but they are mostly incredibly short. God is so faithful. What a gift to be a mama to this little girl and little boy. I cannot wait to watch them grow. I cannot wait to teach them and love on them and prayerfully be a good example for them. 

I'm so grateful for our little family. I'm especially grateful for a helpful and loving husband. He has been so kind, let me cry, given Evelyn attention when she needed it, and let me shower everyday since we have been home! :) God is so good to us, and we have so much to be thankful for! 

**All of these sweet photos from the hospital were taken by a precious friend, Emily Bass** So grateful to have them! :) 

Wedding, Bridals, and Engagement Favorites of 2017

I always feel really honored when someone chooses me to photograph their wedding, bridal portraits, or engagement photos. These are some of the most memorable days of their lives, and it means so much to me. I was so encouraged to be able to photograph so many precious couples this year. I loved being able to shoot engagement sessions and bridal portraits, and loved when Brett joined me to help photograph wedding days. These couples are so kind to allow us into the most special day of their lives. We leave so many weddings feeling like we were part of the family! It is truly such a privilege to be a small part of their day. So....thank you sweet brides (and grooms!) for choosing me and trusting me to capture memories from this special time in your life! 2017 was such a sweet year! 

Lifestyle Favorites of 2017

I have had the incredible privilege of photographing so many special events and memories for people this year! As I started pulling my favorites I realized I had to break it down into lifestyle favorites and bridal, wedding, and engagement favorites. There are just too many to pick from! I have gotten to photograph several births, siblings meeting for the first time, newborn snuggles, special announcements, and the sweetest families! I am so grateful for those who have continued to allow me to photograph their special memories and those who let me in for the first time! Honestly, it has been an incredible year and such a privilege for me!! I am so grateful, and I cannot wait to see what 2018 has in store for this little business! 

Neil and Jessica (engaged)

This precious couple's wedding is coming up in just a few short weeks! I can't believe I haven't pushed publish on this blog post! I met with Jessica and her mom a little before we took these engagement session and was so excited when they told me I was going to get to photograph their wedding and engagement photos. 

I could tell just from meeting with Jessica that she was extremely chill about wedding planning and a lot like me in the process. She certainly cares about the details of the day, but at the end of it all....she is ready and excited to get married! She told me about she and Neil and their relationship. We made plans for engagement pictures, and she told me he would be a bit of a jokester, but like most guys, probably wasn't thrilled about taking photos. :)  I was so excited for their session. 

We had so much fun. Neil cracked jokes the whole time, which made Jessica laugh...and that can never be a bad thing when taking pictures! I am so excited for their November wedding! It is going to be such a great day, and obviously, Jessica is going to be a beautiful bride! 

Baby Kittrell #2 Is............

Well, apparently my patience is not as great this time around! If we would have waited to find out what the gender of this baby was until our anatomy scan, it would have landed at 20 weeks (same as Evelyn).  Tuesday was my birthday, and I told my husband that I would love to find out what we were having! I am 16 weeks and the thought of waiting 4 more weeks didn't sound fun, but I was of course willing to do so. Well, he sweetly set it up for us to go get a little sneak and we were able to find out if Evelyn was getting a brother or a sister! Because we did a little video to announce that Evelyn would be joining our family, we thought we should do the same for this little one! We cannot wait to welcome this sweet baby in January! 

A Letter to My Girl on Her 2nd Birthday

My Little Evelyn,

Two years old. It is hard to believe that you have been in our family for two years. These years have been the sweetest for your dad and I. It is not always easy and you are teaching me so much about patience, my own selfishness, and about unconditional love. You have grown up so much this year, and sadly, we are seeing less and less of your baby side and more of your big girl side. That part isn't always fun, but what a joy to see you learn new things, your vocabulary explode, and you grow bigger each day. 

There is so much about your second year that I don't want to forget. You started walking between 13-14 months, and once you figured it out there was no stopping you. :) You LOVE books and want mama to read to you all the time. You are so smart and saying so many words. You are even saying a few little sentences here and there. It is so nice that you can communicate with us and we know what you want. You love Mickey Mouse and Doc McStuffins. You love music and love to dance. You started to love your baby doll Sally or "Sassy" as you call her and you are a good little mama! You love to feed her a bottle, but are still quick to bring her to me when she poo poos. :)

You are quick to fold your hands so we can pray before meals. You love to eat....and want a "nack" often. You are still a great sleeper most of the time! You have the most hilarious personality and can give some funny looks. You are incredibly outgoing, saying "hi!" to everyone in the grocery store or restaurants. But, bless it if they say hi back because depending on your mood...you cut those eyes making them think they did something terribly wrong. haha. You absolutely love the wa wa and going swimming is your favorite. You are a great swimmer and know how to float. You love animals...particularly puppies. Oh my gracious. They are your favorite!

You love your grandparents so much and all of your cousins and aunts and uncles. Bubbles and being outside are two of your favorite things as well. When we pray you like to say, "hold" like we need to hold hands when we do it. When you want me to sing "Jesus Loves Me" you say "Bible Bible". This year you also started testing lots of limits, and you weren't angelic all the time! :) You definitely have some sass to you and have opinions. For a while you didn't really know to say the word "no" but you have learned it and put it into practice when you want to. :) There are certainly days where you are fussy and irritable and mama has no idea what to do. But, most of the time you are a pretty content little girl. You play hard, eat well, and are typically sweet. 

My little love, I was praying for you this morning and praising God for your life. I can't get over the gift that He gave us in you. We waited and prayed for you for a long time, but my goodness.... The Lord exceeded our expectations. You are a treasure. Our lives are far more fun, harder (at times), more exhausting, but so much richer because you are in it. 

I am praying a lot of things for your third year. You are talking more and understanding more so I am praying that God helps me to continue to disciple you. I am praying that God will give us more conversations about stories in His Word. I am praying that I can teach you Scripture and that your little mind will absorb it. I am praying that I will be wise with how I spend my time when you are with me, remembering that each day is a gift and an opportunity to shepherd your heart. I am praying that you grow bigger. I am praying that you continue to learn to share and be kind (as this is not always easy). I am praying that even at this very young age, the Lord will pull your heart towards Him. There is nothing better, my girl. I am praying that your daddy and I will be good examples of Christ for you. 

You will experience a big transition this year as you become a big sister. I cannot wait for you to take on that role, but I know it will bring challenges for us both. You are such a joy my Evelyn Anne! I am so thankful that I get to be your mama. I am thankful that I get to spend my days with you. It has truly always been the desire of my heart, and how gracious of the Lord to allow it. I cannot wait to enjoy these last six months of it being just the three of us. 

Happy Birthday my precious Evelyn! I love you so much!

All My Love,

Mama

Sadie (6 Months)

I'm sorry, but if seeing this precious family and little angel face doesn't make you melt I just don't know what will! I got to take Sadie's newborn photos, and I was so excited when her mom asked me to take her 6 month pictures as well! She was so good and gave me the most precious little faces! Her perfect strawberry hair and big blue eyes made for some beautiful pictures! I get to take more of her in just a few weeks and I cannot wait to see how much she has grown!! 

The Jones Family

I feel so blessed that I get to work with some of the sweetest families...not to mention good looking? :) This precious family goes to church with me, and I was so excited when they asked me to take some family photos for them. Look at those kiddos! Are they not the cutest? I love a session where I can get genuine smiles, but also some good serious faces as well!! Oh, and they braved one of the windiest days with me! The kind of wind that brings tears to your eyes! But, we got some beautiful pictures and I think they are just adorable! 

Crosby Persinger (Birth)

Long time...no post. Sorry for the absence friends! I have so many posts in my drafts that will be on display over the next days/weeks. I have tried so hard to edit more quickly and get images back to clients that it seems the blog has taken a backseat. What sweeter way to come back to the blog than to share the birth of a precious baby boy. :) 

As a photographer, I get to be present at so many precious moments. Family sessions are so sweet and chasing kiddos around is fun. I treasure getting to be a small part of the wedding day of so many dear couples. But, a birth....a birth is so intimate. I can't tell you what a privilege it is when someone asks me to be in the room during the birth of a baby. It is a true honor. 

Well, this dear friend has had me come to the births of her last two children. Sweet Annie also has had her last two children completely naturally. Now, if you ask Annie...she, in her humility, would claim that she has no idea how crazy she acted, and she would apologize for her behavior over and over. Well, I am here to tell you that she was the epitome of grace during Crosby's birth. She labored calmly. I knew the pain she was feeling and you can see it on her face. However, she also would laugh with the nurses and constantly say thank you to anyone who was trying to help and serve her. 

Annie had her sweet husband and sister in the room. Her sister is an amazing doula (Pure Grace Doula Services). They were both so attentive, knowing when to step in and when to back off. Natural labor is a funny thing. Women handle it all so differently, and you really have to know how to read them. I could go on and on about how amazing Annie did, and how precious that little bundle was when he was finally born! He is an angel!

Annie, you are a dear friend and I am so grateful that you have let me witness two of the most special days of your life. It is a sweet gift and privilege! Here are some photos and a video at the end documenting the day.