This time last year, I was quite pregnant. I was anxious. I was excited. I had no idea how my life was about to change, in both challenging ways and all the best ways. I had no idea that meeting the little life growing inside of me would change me in so many ways.
This week she has been with us for 11 months. I can't even wrap my mind around that. I have had the privilege of loving her and watching her grow for almost a full year. I have had lots of emotions as we approach her first birthday. I have been so excited as I have seen her grow and learn new things. I have been proud as I have seen her brave side come out or seen her listen to me when she hears "no no" :) I have also been so incredibly sad as I realize the days with her go so quickly. I have found myself rocking her a little longer in the evenings, really watching her play by herself more, and just been in awe of how good God is that He would allow me to be her mom.
Please believe that the days are hard so often. The days are long, they test my patience, they make me question if I am doing things "right". But, they are the best days. I truly believe that. Just the other day I was in Target (duh) and the cashier asked how old she was. I told her 10 months, and she said she had a 5 month old and could not wait for her to be able to sit up, crawl, talk more, etc. I remember having those thoughts at times, but in my measly 11 months of motherhood wisdom, I looked at her and told her to enjoy every second and not to wish the different stages away. That has probably been one of my biggest prayers throughout Evelyn's 11 months of life. I have prayed so often that I would stop and enjoy every phase and every milestone as it came. For the most part, I feel like God has answered that prayer.
I just enjoy the fact that I get to be her mama. Sure, I have wished away sleepless nights, and had moments where I have wanted her to reach certain milestones at a quicker pace. I (still) am wishing she was more patient when she eats and didn't act like each meal was her last when it is over. (Those of you who have had the privilege of eating in her presence know what I am talking about. :) ) I have not been perfect. But, all in all, I have truly tried to slow down and savor the days. I have cried ridiculous tears thinking about how she will be 12 before I know it. :) Even Brett told me that he saw a little girl eating lunch with her mom the other day and she was about 10, and all he could think was....."this is going to be Evie before I know it...."
I am overwhelmed with gratitude. The Lord has truly shown so much of His goodness in my life by giving me Evelyn. I am undeserving of such a gift. So as she is now 11 months.....I will savor this last month of her first year. I will try to stop and truly be grateful for all of the moments (fussy ones included....aka today) I will treasure snuggles. I will look forward to seeing her happy face each day. I will love on her! I will praise God for her life! I will praise God that she is healthy and growing. I will enjoy my baby girl, and pray for her life! Thank you God for my precious Evelyn!
