Conviction that Leads to Action

About a year and a half ago I began reading this blog about a girl my age who lived in Africa. This summer, I saw this video after following her story for that long. October seemed so far off and I couldn't wait to get my hands on her book.

Well, look what came in the mail yesterday...Thank you mom for pre ordering it! 

(yes, I know it is backwards....)

I finished it in a day. As I sit here and type, on my very own laptop, I just got out of a shower that I was able to warm and cool to my comfort. I have eaten three meals today, and not to mention I had a choice of what I would like. I am sitting in a house with electricity and on a comfortable bed. I am not wearing the same thing I wore yesterday. I will go to a wedding shower tomorrow and probably receive dozens of presents that I don't necessarily "need". 

Now, it is easy to read a story and be moved and convicted. It can cause me to feel guilty and can cause someone to think that their responsibility is to sell all that they have and move to Africa or some other third world country. Seriously, as I read, I felt a million emotions. I am in awe of Katie Davis and how she is living her life. I felt guilt for the comforts of my life. I felt sad for those that she takes care of and all of the ones that she cannot take care of. I felt convicted that I hold on so tightly to things in my life that do not matter. I was encouraged by her faith, her prayer life, and in general the way that she serves and lives. 

No, I am not packing my bags and leaving this life in the states. I am still planning my wedding and still going to get married on November 12th. Let's face it, this is where I am in life and I am at this place, in this stage of life for a reason. God has orchestrated my steps and knew that I would be here for such a time as this. 

Let me tell you what I was encouraged to do. First of all, as I mentioned, I was convicted about the way that I hold onto my comforts, my things, my relationships, etc. Why? NONE of this belongs to me but only to God. This world is not my home and nothing that is a worldly possession will last. I am praying that I will stop clinging so tightly and praying that I will give the Lord control...(which He already has anyways)

I have been more and more encouraged to wake up daily thanking Him for a new day to live for Him and also asking Him to direct my day and asking Him what I can do to serve and bring glory to His name. Right now that might be something simple like going to an elementary school to substitute for a day. It might mean choosing to not get frustrated over a silly detail while wedding planning. I may need to remember to be more considerate of the people in my life and remembering to thank them for all that they are doing. Or, it might mean taking extra time to pray for the people in my life, for my future marriage, and for the world. I don't know what my days look like but the Lord does and He will direct my days. 

As I read this book, I couldn't help but think about my two weeks that I spent in Africa. Let me just say, that I was given deluxe treatment in comparison to Katie's daily life. Yes, I went to slums. I smelled the smells and saw the sights of complete desolation and poverty. However, I remember seeing the biggest moths in the shower, a gecko on my wall as I was turning out the light to sleep, and my feet never seeming clean. I remember at times thinking, wow, this is huge sacrifice. WHAT? I did nothing. Sure, the things that I saw did change my perspective and my life. I loved on those children and they truly stole my heart. However, I remember thinking that I had a comfortable life back in the states. I loved my time in Africa but could not imagine myself making that my lifestyle. Isn't that crazy? I mean, if my Lord told me to go to Africa, I should, without hesitation, go. I hope that I would. I truly don't feel that this is the calling on my life right now but there are times that I hope I do get to spend some time in another country. 

I am not trying to convict anyone. Honestly, as I read about Katie's life I realized that being convicted was okay but action needed to follow. I certainly don't have millions of dollars to donate. I am not in a place where I have felt God calling me to see everything and move to the other side of the world. However, I can pray. The only way that I am going to truly see the power of prayer is to be consistent. This doesn't just mean that I pray for Katie and Amazima Ministries. It means to pray for those needs right around me. There are plenty of ways for me to serve and plenty of needs that I can meet. I am praying that the Lord change my heart and make me aware of needs. I pray that I wake up daily and say, "Lord, my day is Yours. How can I serve You and those around me?" 

I would encourage you to buy Katie's book. Her story is an encouraging one. She seems to be a precious soul and I cannot wait to meet her whether here or in heaven!

He Is Good

Well, the last couple of weeks have been a bit of a whirlwind. There have been lots of ups and downs. My emotions have been all over the place. I won't go into a lot of detail but all I can say is that I am so thankful for the Lord and His faithfulness. I am thankful for His provision in every situation. He is faithful when I am unfaithful. He is good to me even when the way that I respond is not always great. I am emotional, fickle, I sway, and I am inconsistent.....but my Lord is not any of those things. 

I will be back soon!! I plan on enjoying my Saturday! 

Resting....

"The Lord has promised good to me. His Word, my hope secures. He will my shield and portion be, as long as life endures."

Resting in this tonight... His grace is sufficient. I would love some prayers over the next few days for those of you who read this blog! 

My Good, His Glory

Well, I'll be honest....The past couple of days have been full of unexpected news, excitement, anticipation, nervousness, and disappointment. As most of you know, I graduated in December with my degree in elementary education. Y'all, I loved my major. I loved going to class and doing observations. It is just what I have grown to love. Now, ultimately, I want to be a wife and mother but, I truly want to teach. I was blessed to get an interim in the spring to finish up the year. I knew that finding a job would be tough in the fall but didn't have too many fears or doubts. 

Fast forward to this past Friday, I get a call about a possible kindergarten position. I am ecstatic. This teacher retired Friday and they needed someone quick. I was recommended and things seemed to be going in a positive direction. No one else was being considered really. The principal called me and set up an interview for Tuesday. I knew it would be tough because school would have started but I was preparing and trying not to get too excited or ahead of myself. That is a tough thing though!! Anyways, the interview ended up being cancelled today because of some bumps in the road, mandatory transfers, etc. I don't know all of the details honestly. All I know is, I felt disappointed and hurt today.

In my head and heart, I instantly wondered who would be hired. Would they be better than me? Why them? Why was I not given a chance? I, at times, have felt entitled and like I deserve a job. Who am I to think that though? This did not surprise God. My flesh is sinful and is quick to be upset, sad, disappointed, hurt. I am not saying that those feelings aren't natural, but, why am I not instead, quick to remember that EVERYTHING that happens to me is for my good and His glory. His word PROMISES that He will work ALL THINGS for MY GOOD!! It's a promise. My plans are not His. His are better. I have to look at all of the MANY, MANY blessings that God is pouring all over my life during this phase of my life. Seriously, it is amazing. I am getting married. Brett has a job. We will have somewhere to live. We will have furniture. We will not starve! :) I want to look at this time as a blessing, not a burden. Sure, an extra paycheck would be so helpful financially. However, I only want to be in the center of HIS will. I do not want to be outside of it for some extra money. 

I promise you, I do not have it all together. God is using this time that is tough to stretch me and mold me and test my faith! It reminded me of this song by Laura Story. I am sure you have heard it because of it's recent popularity. The line that was brought to my mind was....

"What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst, this world can't satisfy? What if trials of this life, the rain the storms, the hardest nights, are Your mercies in disguise?"

I mean, this was a disappointing day but if this is one of my greatest disappointments, I think I will be okay. Bottom line....what happened today was for my good and my Father's glory and because I say that, I am choosing to believe that. 

Those of you that have prayed for me....thank you! I am blessed to have you in my life! 

What I Learned and A Recipe

On Tuesday we had our last Bible study for our summer study. As I have mentioned we have been going through Beth Moore's study through the book of Daniel. I so enjoyed being in this study with all of these girls! It was a really tough study but I learned so much. I had no idea that the book of Daniel tied in so much with the book of Revelation. I was so encouraged by Daniel's life. He was so steady in the midst of living in Babylon and surrounded by so much sin. We were encouraged to be Daniel's as we are living in our own Babylon. I pray that I will be consistent in my walk with Christ. I pray that people will see a difference in my life. I am so thankful for the example of Daniel.

Since it was our last night together, we also decided to have dinner together before we started and I made dessert. I had been wanting to try one of the millions of desserts I have seen on Pinterest. I decided to go with mini peanut butter cheesecakes.

Mmm....they turend out so delicious. I did end up changing to regular sized muffin pans and not mini ones. It made exactly 12 regular sized cheesecakes so definitely double it for a bigger get together.

Crust:

1 cup of chocolate cookie crumbs (I used oreos)

2 tbsp. unsalted butter, melted

1 tbsp. sugar

Cheesecake:

12 oz. cream cheese (room temperature)

1/4 cup sour cream

1/2 cup peanut butter

2/3 cup sugar

1 large egg plus 1 large egg yolk

Dash vanilla extract

Pinch of coarse salt

Ganache:

4 oz. bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped

1/2 cup heavy cream

1 tbsp. unsalted butter (room temperature)

Now, everything turned out great when I made it. I have this tool that I got from pampered chef that you can use to pipe icing and it makes it look so pretty. I have used it many times already. For the ganache, I don't know if I let it thicken a bit too much or should have just put it in a bag instead of my pampered chef tool? It tasted delicious but wouldn't pipe right to look pretty so I ended up just putting chocolate chips on the top. No one seemed to mind but the ganache tasted so great and would have been so pretty!! 

Here is the printable recipe! They really were delicious!

In other news, Brett has started his job and is enjoying it but it will definitely take some getting used to! Not only did he start his job but we did one more "adult" thing this week. Brett bought a new car! Sadly, he had to part ways with his truck. The boy loves his truck so this was not a fun decision but the deal was too good to pass up. Plus, we are going from getting 11 miles to the gallon to 23 miles to the gallon. We really knew it would be smarter in the long run with us getting married and everything. He got a Ford Fusion. He will be driving that right now and we may trade eventually!

So, lots of exciting and scary things happening. It has been a big week for us but it's definitely been good! It's almost Friday people!!

I Can Trust Him

This morning as I was doing a little of my Bible study I was taken to Romans 11. This is what I read:

"Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable His judgments, and His paths beyond tracing out! Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been His counselor? Who has ever given to God, that God should repay Him? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever! Amen." (vv. 33-36)

This was so great for me to read. I am amazed at how often I need the reminder that His plans are not mine and His ways are not mine. He is the wisest of all Counselors. How often, in my sin, do I try to handle things or go to others before running to Him? I can trust Him. He is faithful.

As we were singing in church this morning we sang a song that we had done several times over the last few weeks. It is called, You Are For Me by Kari Jobe. The verses talk about how He is faithful, constant, loving, true, powerful, and how He fills us and knows us. The chorus says, 

"I know that You are for me. I know that You are for me. I know that You will never forsake me in my weakness and I know that you have come now even if to write upon my heart, to remind me who You are."

This just reminded me of what I read this morning. He is constant. He truly is for me and only wants me to have His best. He will not forsake His children. He is trustworthy and I must trust Him!

Thank You for being constant Father. Thank You for the promise that You will never leave me. Thank You for offering me Your best!

Good Word and Goodbye

God is teaching me a lot about my faith. That may sound strange.... I guess I should say, God is showing me a lot about my LACK of faith. It is amazing actually. I can feel like the strongest person in the world.  There are times when I know that I know that I know, that God is holding me in the palm of His hands and I trust that He is in control. These are the times when life is seemingly perfect. I have a job, wedding plans are good, there are no arguments with my friends or family. While God asks that I trust Him in those times.....it is mainly the times when life seems to be crashing down that He longs for me to trust Him. 

I struggle.

Thankfully, He knows me, forgives me, and I do my best to trust Him the next time. I am thankful that my Lord forgives and loves me no matter what.

This summer I am studying about the life of Daniel. It is a Beth Moore study that I am so enjoying.

I ran across something she said and while it is not at all the focus of my study, it really hit me. She says: 

"Without stealing away time with God, we won't just grow carnal. We'll grow cold and callous. Whether or not you realize it, these frequent times with God become a healing agent against the world's harsh winds and a healthy defense to still allow you to feel."

I do not want to become cold and callous. I need time with Him and on the days when it is a literal battle, that is when I need Him the most. He longs to meet with me and already has my appointment booked. All I have to do is come. I know that my time with Him or at times, my lack of time with Him directly relates to whether or not I choose to trust Him when my world seems to be spinning out of control. 

May I always choose time with Him because He is the best choice!

"Our God will dwell with us until we dwell with Him."

Changing the subject...... I am leaving tomorrow for a two week vacation. I will be in LaGrange visiting Eric, Linds, and V this weekend and then on Wednesday Brett and I are going with his family  to..........

So excited! I am looking forward to hikes, volcanoes, zip lines, animals, fun, waterfalls, and BEAUTIFUL pictures (I hope!) 

Cannot wait to share my trip when I get back! 

Adios!

Good Friday

Spring Break has been wonderful. We got back from Phenix City on Wednesday. I got to spend a day or so with my niece and sister-in-law which was so wonderful! They are now picking up Amy, Jeff, Eric and the rest of the team that went to Uganda! They are back and I am so excited! They had an amazing trip and I can't wait to hear more about it and see pictures!!

Last night, Brett and I made a spur of the moment trip to Dauphin Island. It was so nice to drive and just be together.

As we are almost there a friend called and said a group of our friends were getting together to watch The Passion. We rushed back so that we could hang out and watch. While that movie is not always easy to watch, it certainly is good to remember what He suffered for us. Although I am sure that this movie is a good picture, it probably doesn't compare at all to what He suffered for us. 

Brett found this video and I thought I would share. I am so thankful that He willingly came to this earth, lived a perfect life, died, and even faced the full wrath of God all for me.

Not Getting Caught Up

Well, I don't know why blogging has been so slow lately....not much to say? That can't be true because I'M PLANNING A WEDDING!! Haha. Well, hopefully there will be more posts soon both wedding related and life in general. This post will be a bit of both. 

Wedding plans have started being made and it makes me so excited. There are many things that have already been checked off the list. Dress...done. Photographer...done. I have loved making plans so far and some of you may be surprised by that. During my sister's wedding planning process I determined in my mind that I didn't care about details, she and my mom could make the big plans, and I wanted ONE shower. haha. Everyone told me, "You might feel differently once it is your wedding!" Ok...ok....I have changed my mind. I am really enjoying this planning process so far! In fact, I have found that since being engaged, I check my email over and over again. I tell myself, "Laura, between now and the 10 minutes that have passed, you have not received an email!" I also could spend hours on Etsy, Pinterest, and Style Me Pretty. Mom, Amy, and I talk about plans for the ceremony and reception and I cannot wait to make it all come to life.

However, lately, I have been feeling a bit guilty. I have no doubt that the Lord is all about weddings. I have been convicted about my time and how I spend it. I want to be balanced in all aspects of my life. I am excited about my wedding...but more than all of the little details, the dress, the flowers, etc., I want my wedding to be glorifying to the Lord. I want it to be an expression of Brett and I's love for the Lord. I want people to see more than a beautiful dress, pretty flowers, and fun details. I want the gospel to go forth and for people to see Christ in our wedding. If there is one thing you can pray, it is that Brett and I would both keep our eyes fixed on Christ during this planning process and that our decisions would glorify Him. Don't worry! I'll keep you updated on plans!!

"Let us rejoice and be glad and give Him glory! For the wedding of the Lamb has come, and His bride has made herself ready." --Revelation 19:7

Persecuted, Not Abandoned

Sorry for the blogging break. Honestly, not too much has been going on around here. I will share that I got a job! It is basically a sub job for the rest of the year doing special education. I am not certified for special ed but I am so excited for this experience!

Anyways, at church we have started studying the book of Revelation. Jack has done a really great job explaining things that are confusing and honestly, really deep. Sunday, we studied Revelation 2:8-11. It was amazing but more than anything, it was convicting. Really convicting. These verses show a letter to the church of Smyrna. First of all, let me start by saying that they are probably verses I would have skipped without putting any effort towards what was being said. How wrong of me. There is so much in this passage of Scripture. 

In this letter there is no rebuke. There is only encouragement and Christ only says good things about this church. This is because this church was suffering so severely for their faith.

Verses 9 and 10 say, "I know your afflictions and your poverty--yet you are rich! I know the slander of those who say they are Jews and are not, but a synagogue of Satan. Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will save you the crown of life." 

Really? I do not know suffering. I hope that when I suffer I consider myself to be rich. I pray that if the Lord was to tell me that I would be thrown in prison, tortured, or even would suffer to death, that I would trust Him. I pray I would remember that it is an honor and privilege to suffer for Christ. The church in Smyrna show us that their faith in Christ cost them everything. They were rich in eternal treasure and that was enough for them. Jack reminded us that suffering is the badge of a true Christian. 

I will say, the principles about suffering for Christ, I had heard. I know that it is important to suffer for Christ. I know that as believers, suffering is promised. I know that we live in America and that often, this is used as an excuse for why we don't suffer. I do not know suffering. This message convicted me. No, it doesn't mean that I am packing my bags and heading to another country where I know I will suffer. Besides, there will probably be more and more suffering coming in the United States before we know it. It also doesn't mean that I have had this radical change in me. It simply means that I was convicted. I was convicted that I do not suffer, that I don't ever truly think about suffering, and that I do not consistently pray for those that do suffer. 

Jack went on to talk about a man named Polycarp.

 He was the Bishop of Smyrna. He was a martyr. He devoted his life to Christ and for that he suffered and died. Those who killed him begged him over and over again to renounce Christ and he would have saved himself. He never did. They beat him and drug him out to where he would be burned at the stake. They gave him one more chance and he said, "Eighty-six years I have served Him and He has done me no wrong. How can I blaspheme my King and my Savior?" They lit the stake on fire but he was not singed. Someone was ordered to stick a sword in him. When they did, his blood gushed out and extinguished the fire. Wow. All I can say is, what a way to go. Polycarp served Christ until death and Christ made a statement through his death. 

I want to pray for those who are persecuted. I want to pray for the future and that we, as believers, will be strong when we are persecuted and that we would pray for persecution. He is faithful. He suffered and died for us. Shouldn't we suffer for Him?